Do you pull your own hair out, while watching your two children rolling around on the grass, pulling each other’s hair out?
Sibling rivalry is not fair. It’s not fair to parents!
Your head is aching and your ears are ringing with: “You sat in the front of the car yesterday! You can’t sit there again today!”
“I can, I’m the eldest!”
“It’s not fair! What about me?”
“You did homework with mom first, three nights in a row! THAT’S not fair!”
“It IS fair; I’m younger, need more help, and go to bed earlier!”
Phew! Try to find a quiet spot, away from your children, for just a little while, and let this advice sink in…
This is not a miracle fix; sibling rivalry exists and is not going to vanish. I can, however, give you a helpful tip that a friend gave me. It will greatly reduce tension all around. I’m still using the tip five years later.
I apply the method to just two children, but it can be applied to 3 or more children too.
Days are allocated to the children. The eldest gets uneven numbers of the month, and the youngest of two gets the even numbered days of the month. With more than two children, the method follows a strict rotation.
I will be discussing the method for just two children here.
On “their” day, the child gets to choose everything first, if there are choices to be made.
Regarding what pleases the children best; they get to have that pleasure on their days!
The eldest child sits in the front of the car on uneven days of the month; the youngest child gets the even numbered days.
The method can be applied in many ways! Who gets to bath or shower first? Who gets to be kissed goodnight by mom first? Who gets to do homework with mom first? Who gets to go for bread and milk with Dad? Who gets their supper dished up first?
It is also applied to duties and tasks the children don’t enjoy!
It becomes a way of life. Before long, the first thing you hear out of your children’s mouths in the mornings will be “whose day is it first?” It’s simply a rhetorical question, because they quickly learn to sort it all out themselves: “It’s my day first! You can’t do that!” And instead of arguing forever like they usually do, the situation is sorted out in next to no time.
Parents know that parenting can be tough. Don’t just sit back and try to cope. Use any parenting tips you can get hold of. Less stress for parents makes for happier, more relaxed parents, allowing moms and dads to practice parenting skills more effectively.
Be strict. Don’t give in. Apply the “whose day is it first?” rule in your household today! Less stress for everyone will be your reward.