As you deal with your kids or teenagers, it is important to remember that you were once a kid too. Try to remember what it felt like as a kid.Did you always do everything to try to make your parents happy? No, sometimes you did things just to be sure you would get attention. Whether it was something good or bad. In other words, the majority of the things that kids do is to get attention. Recent youth development research supports this.
Parenting is difficult and sometimes might seem impossible. Single parenting can stress out even the best However, when we learn to give kids attention for all the wonderful things they do, it can reduce the stress level.Constantly reacting to the negative things kids do, causes stress that is unnecessary. Instead, learn to ignore the negative behavior that is not life threatening like, weird haircuts, mood swings and dirty rooms.
By overacting to these small negative behaviors, we give in to negative attention getters and reinforce this negative behavior in our kids. Remember the teenager is just looking for some attention and searching for identity and independence. Instead of complaining about the dirty room, compliment them for getting up on time. It can be difficult to find a positive behavior, but look for something small and give them that attention they are looking for. This strategy is a guarantee to reduce your stress level and improve your relationship with your child.
Don’t expect this new strategy to be easy or to happen overnight. It will take sometime for you to undo your ways. You are use to commenting on all those negative behaviors you notice in your child. Now you are trying to ignore those behaviors and give reinforcement for positive behaviors. Your child will appreciate your new approach and may change some of the negative behaviors that have caused you so much stress as a single parent.
Single parenting can be a struggle, but very rewarding. Once you start to see the positive reaction from your child to your new parenting strategy, you will have a different outlook on being a single parent. Many kids have been raised by a single parent and turned out just fine and go on to do great things in life. Once you learn to give your child positive attention for positive behavior and ignore the negative behavior, you will greatly reduce the stress of being a single parent.